I don’t feel this lonely, even when I am alone. Now I relish being alone. Any place with cold shade where I can just sit with my thoughts, alone. But I have places to be, people to be around, that’s when I get lonely. My thoughts leave me and my head is filled with insecurity, wanting to runway to someplace and be alone, in my very own safe haven. The fear of having to be answerable to people is like a rock tied to me preventing me from floating. I just want to feel the wind in my face with no consequences, no destination, no time limit.
I don’t want to be among the fake gestures and all the formalities, the plastic emotions and the factories of hypocrisy that surround me, i have to rejuvenate my soul in order to function properly and this is the only way – getting away from all the fakeness, romance with the wind in my hair and the sunset background that eliminates time. Although, I need this to fix myself, it is not allowed, the world that broke me has no place for healing of this kind, it is considered strange.
She thought to herself as she replied to “How are you?”
For the hundredth time.